Celebrity Endorsements

I Can't Write About Kafka All The Time

INAPPROPRIATE SONGS THAT WON’T DIE

In an era of heightened political correctness, we are baffled how the following two songs (originally released in the early 1980’s) seem to climb the radio charts every 5 years or so:

“Into the Night” (by Benny Mardones)

This song (“If I could fly, I’d pick you up, I’d take you into the night and show you a love, like you’ve never seen, ever seen…”) apparently tells the story of a middle-aged man’s forbidden lust for a 16 year-old girl. Something of an In-Your-Face ballad to those fools “who don’t know what love is yet,” this song makes us think it’s just a matter of time until Chris Hanson asks Mr. Mardones to take a seat.

“Total Eclipse of the Heart”(by Bonnie Tyler)

“Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I’m only falling apart, there’s nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.”

Actually, the song lyrics weren’t offensive, it was the bizarre video. The set was a smoke-filled, private all-boys high school located deep within the Evil Empire. Flying altar boys with glowing eye sockets (aka “Bright Eyes”) were the most normal characters in a video populated with enough sexual innuendo to make Elton John blush. If the Radio Gods have to re-release one of Ms. Tyler’s songs every so often why can’t it be the vastly superior and uplifting “It’s A Heartache”?