The Canal

I have a new story called “Gowanus, Brooklyn” in the Fall 2011 issue of Corium Magazine.  I learned a lot working with Editor Lauren Becker on this story.  I hope you will check it out and also the other writers published in Corium.  In the meantime, here are some rooftop shots of Gowanus I took in 2010 to get you in the mood. 

Seven Floors Up

So my story “Athena Barabbas” which appeared in the November 2010 edition of Burnt Bridge was recently nominated by Burnt Bridge for an award.  In the story, Athena is having a tough time with her relationship.  So much so, she auctions off her boyfriend to a room of imaginary women who are also displeased with their men. 

It got me thinking that I should combine the next “Greatest Song” entries with two that focus on different aspects of love.  Here goes.

Billy Idol’s Rock the Cradle of Love (1990).  This one is optimistic and fun, as in I want to rock the cradle of love.  I had a Mac II and round glasses.  It’s voyeuristic but that’s okay because who wouldn’t want Billy Idol looking in?  Plus, you know he’d give you the fist pump and smile if you were making any headway.

I also like how he shoves Marilyn out of the way at 2:55.

SM Bonus Tidbits: Like one of the comments on You Tube says, it looks like Billy Idol invented the flat screen.

This one is more realistic.  Fancy stereo equipment and a West Hollywood address don’t cut it, but a hammer and vice might if work really long and hard.

This is a live version of the song that also appeared on the Jerry McGuire soundtrack.

Buried in that Secret Garden?  There could be angels or a living soul but good luck getting there.

SM Bonus Tidbits: The video has no Jerry McGuire clips but does have the lyrics in Italian for all the Sauro Motel fans in Italia.

 Lyrics

 Fountain of Sorrow has some of my favorite opening lines of any song:

Looking through some photographs I found inside a drawer
I was taken by a photograph of you
There were one or two I know that you would have liked a little more
But they didn’t show your spirit quite as true

You were turning ’round to see who was behind you
And I took your childish laughter by surprise
And at the moment that my camera happened to find you
There was just a trace of sorrow in your eyes

After six beers and listening to this song fifteen times in a row, JB’s intelligently sad lyrics will have you curled into a ball or crawling on your stomach in the closet under your dirty laundry.

 Advantage Jackson Browne.

 Presentation

 Jackson Browne is often seated behind a piano or organ when he performs.  The Heat Miser, on the other hand, was trained by Vaudeville song and dance men.

 Jackson Browne has accomplished back-up singers and band members that also play with artists like Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty.

 The Heat Miser has 6 smaller clones, who do a perfect soft-shoe while touting the praises of their boss and catering to his every whim.

 Advantage Heat Miser.

 Grooming and Attitude

JB has the silky long hair that many women find attractive (at least they did in the 70′s and 80′s).  A mature star, he’s sure of himself on stage.

Heat Miser gets mucho props for the pre-Clash (1974) spiky orange hair.  Boasting that he essentially can control the weather and prevent a White Christmas while belting out a song that’s a cocky testament to himself, he rivals the bravado of legendary rappers Digital Undergound and Young MC.  Not content to have critics like me pigeonhole him, The Heat Miser crafts his identity right in the song – he’s “Mister Heat Blister.  He’s Mister Hundred and One.”

 Advantage Heat Miser.

 This one’s too close for me to call.

http://burntbridge.net/magazine/online-edition/november-2010/bobby-sauro/

Old motels and theatres…

Guy with No Country For Old Men Hair Grabbed and Twisted My Neck When I asked What Time Turn Down Service Was

Expressed my displeasure to manager that Young Guns 3D was not playing

Inspiration in Gowanus

More Gowanus, Brooklyn

No boardwalk trips this summer – maybe a winter trek is in order.  Those can be more interesting anyway.  For now, I’ll let Bruce call this one a wrap. 

I picked up the book Big World by Mary Miller at the Hobart table at AWP in Denver several weeks ago.  The book is a cool six by four inches small, like the size of a Dick Tracy book you had as a kid.  It’s actually a collection of short stories.  I’ve only read four or five of the eleven stories so far because they’re so good I keep reading the same ones over and over.

          The ones I’ve read so far involve emotionally troubled but physically desirable young women.  Their worlds have become small, most often as a result of a broken connection with a man (or two).

The female character in “Pearl” likes to read books with covers that have a girl sitting on the toilet staring at her shadow.  In addition to being drawn into Mary’s writing, how funny that her character and I share the same taste in books!  I had to add bookcases in my basement just to handle the overflow.

          The story “Big World” has one of the best last lines I can remember.  It has to do with a woman who feels abandoned by both her father and ex-husband.  There is a good chance it will haunt you.

          My hotel in Denver played a song in the elevator as it stopped at each floor.  The song for my floor was Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual.”  I saw Tom perform at The MGM Grand in Vegas in 2006 and old women were throwing panties at him like he it was 1974.  I was in Denver for four days, up and down the elevator, I don’t know, ten times a day; that’s at least forty “It’s Not Unusuals.”  It was my first time at the huge writers’ convention, which was somewhat overwhelming, and frankly, I didn’t need the added stress of dodging panties every time I returned to my room.

          I’m pulling for one of Mary’s girls to break through.  As Tom says,

love will never do,

what you want it to,

but you have to keep trying.  Maybe they just haven’t met the right man yet —they probably need one who purrs like cat while seducing women through song.

Big World can be ordered through the Hobart website at http://www.hobartpulp.com/minibooks/index.html

And check out Hobart while you are there as there is great online work and a print journal as well.

“SURRENDER” —  Cheap Trick

          Our first entry in the race for Greatest Rock/Pop Song of All Time is Cheap Trick’s “Surrender.”  A song covered by so many well-known groups and even more unknown bar bands, it must be considered.  I’m drawn to the bizarre lyrics, including a reference to the “WACS in the Philippines.”  The WACS were the “Women’s Army Corps,” an adjunct of the Army during WWII.  My Aunt Rosemary was very proud of being in the WAVES, which were the women who served in the Navy during WWII.  I don’t think anybody messed with her once they found that out, and it looks like she was banking it as well.

       Judging by the picture below, I have to commend the WAVES for being able to engage in the Battle of Midway while still looking stylish.    

          Below is a clip of Cheap Trick performing “Surrender” on “The Midnight Special.”  That was the show from the 1970’s that came on late on Friday night.  It often was the first time you got to see a band performing live (or at least taped live).  I don’t remember it being “Burt Sugarman’s” The Midnight Special but I do recall Wolfman Jack being the announcer.  (Loyal Feedburners, you may need to click through to SauroMotel to see the clip.)  Check out the drummer with a cigarette in his mouth for the duration of the song.

Excuse me now while I figure out where I can go get a white suit like the one in the video (I think my older bro rocked one of those in the 70’s).

          Please sure to keep your eyes open for the next installment of Greatest Rock/Pop Song of All Time…

http://www.elimae.com/archive2010.html

Many thanks to Kim Chinquee for making it happen.

As we approach the end of the decade, I think back to December 31, 1999 and two images dominate: the smiling crooner of “Mambo No. 5” and Peter Jennings’ sweep of midnights across the globe.

In the months leading up to the New Millennium, a Lou Bega sighting could happen anywhere, including on a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float.  Fueled by an Internet-powered surge, stock markets were at all time highs, and Mambo No. 5 reflected such abundance with an impressive roster of trumpet-playing hotties:

A little bit of a Monica in my life,

A little bit of Erica by my side

A little bit of Rita’s all I need

A little bit of Tina’s what I see

A little bit of Sandra in the sun…

While women everywhere rejoiced, those whose names were mentioned celebrated with the most vigor.

As Peter Jennings suited up for 23 hours of continuous coverage, Lou’s most pressing concern was whether to wear the solid white suit with the black and white Panama hat or vice versa.

ABC linked a consortium of news organizations to present celebrations in Sydney, London, Paris and other great cities, showcasing the results of years of prosperity and construction booms.  The $2 billion dome in London, one million people in Sydney for fireworks, the Eiffel Tower and Washington Monument, pulsating with Star Wars-like photons — each surpassing the one before in their display of excess.

Following falling snow as large as feathers in Red Square was a report from a Somali refugee camp where the only electricity was supplied by the ABC camera crew.  By the time midnight had arrived, the people in the tent city had already gone to bed, stripping them of any sense of promise or the worldwide experience, their time continuum beginning and ending with their last meal.

I’m not sure what happened to my man Lou or where the world is heading in 2010.  Based on recent events, though, I fear he will land on an episode of “Cheaters,” keeping Joey Greco busy following trumpet-playing beauties with digitally distorted faces into various eating establishments.